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Don't Worry! Be Happy! But Change!

The Universe is calling. Call it the Universe, God, Karma, destiny. Call it anything you want, but most people I talk to believe that humans are part of a spiritual realm. Have you heard the statement, “We are spiritual beings in a human experience?” “Ken, what in the world does this have to do with my family budget?” Everything my friend, everything.

Expect to get what you give: If you project vinegar to the world, you will receive vinegar in return. That old saying, “You can attract more bees with honey than with vinegar.” We should remind ourselves about the Law of the Harvest.

Wouldn’t you agree that if you walked into a bar, smacked the person sitting next to the person you want to talk to, that the Universe is probably going to smack you back? You reap what you sow. Are you angry with the world? Upset about the police? Don’t trust your boss? That’s fine, actually it’s not, because you will receive what you give. Remember the saying, “It is better to give than to receive?” It means give good, respect, hope, trust, positive vibes, and you will receive these in return. No, the quote was not just about material things. You can give greater gifts that cost you no money. This reminds me of a story. A co-worker of mine, Cameron, was tallying his sales on his Excel worksheet after receiving his commission check. After checking the numbers, he realized the boss underpaid him. Looking at the numbers more closely, he realized it was probably deliberate! He asked nicely for some time with our sales manager and calmly explained the situation. The sales manager agreed with Cameron and was most apologetic. The two went to lunch later, may have had an adult beverage, and buried the hatchet. Would you have handled that situation the same way?

It’s time for a cool change:

If you want to succeed in this financial life, have a positive attitude. This is not a suggestion. Develop a HEALTHY plan to deal with the stress of life and finances. You cannot respond to negative life events (they are going to happen) with knee-jerk reactions. You cannot respond to stress with behaviors that will ultimately cause more stress! It’s not easy, but you will have to reduce the negative emotions. You attract the emotion you are giving. Build resilience. Have a little grit. I know you can do it! All humans are wired to be tough in the face of adversity. You can succeed at being financially in control. The Universe is on your side.

The Universe says you can change. If you want to have a household with a balanced budget, you may have to make big changes. Change is possible. You may have to reduce expenses and increase income. One of my coaching clients, Tina and Rick, has an income over $110,000 per year. They spend $3,000 per month more than they make. That’s right, they spend $36,000 more per year than their $110,000 combined income. Tina and Rick do not have an income problem. Tina and Rick have a spending problem. They overspend on eating out to the tune of $1,200 per month, pay for multiple TV streaming apps and cable. Tina and Rick purchased subscriptions to weight watchers, and many other unnecessary vendors. Upside down on both vehicles and they were taking care of an adult child living at home. The mother-in-law purchases expensive gifts for the grandchildren (to be popular) and then asks Tina and Rick for money to pay her essential bills. This is a scenario that needs a lot of change. Unfortunately, these habits took many years to develop. It is going to take time to unravel these bad habits and create new, better habits. Hopefully, your situation is not so complicated, but if it is, you will need to develop the skill set to change your behavior. If your behavior does not change, all the advice in this book will be worthless to you.

How do we see the World?

When you face adversity, how do you see the world? The way we explain the difference between resilience and helplessness is how we see the world. According to Karen Reivich and Andrew Shatte’ in their book The Resilience Factor, “Pessimists are people who explained their adversities with ‘Me, Always’ (I cause my problems 100% of the time) ‘Everything’ (This will affect every area of my life) style tended to become helpless and depressed. Optimists (those with a ‘not me, not always, not everything’ style remained resilient and depression free.”

How do we respond to adversity? Does one adverse financial situation mean your universe implodes? Do you blame yourself 100% of the time? This behavior is not helpful. A friend of mine, Tim, drove an old (paid for) car and the transmission was misbehaving. Certainly not his fault, but definitely an adverse situation. Tim drove the car to the local transmission mechanic and got the transmission repaired. He had enough money in his emergency account to pay for it and he did not get depressed. He did not blame himself. Tim remained resilient and took care of this one problem successfully.

If stupidity got us into this mess, then stupidity can get us out.

-Will Rogers

I'd love to here how you make changes in your habits.

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